It Started With A Secret


I had a secret, it was something I kept to myself and only shared with one other person in the whole world.

This may surprise some people because, let’s be honest, I’m pretty much gosh darn open book when it comes to what I’ve been through in my life.

I have no issues with talking about the verbal and mental abuse I sustained from my mother’s boyfriend when I was a child.

Or the fact that, years ago I was an anorexic/bulimic who; at the worse part of it, was down the 97 pounds and STILL thought I was too fat for modeling.

Or the period of my life where I abused drugs and alcohol or the dark places that they both took me, and the eventual 20 years of recovery in AA, which helped me build my spiritual foundations that I still have today, even though I am no longer a member and I took my power back with alcohol, 10 years ago.

No, I’m pretty much an open book.

But I still had a secret, and it was slowly tearing at all that I had built in my life, both professionally and personally.

I’ll be honest, I won’t share about what the secret is in this post; that will be in the next one, and promise that it’s not to tease you, it’s simply because I want to be able to give some of you, who may not be quite ready, a chance to walk away. My secret may make you uncomfortable, and that is OK.

I’m writing this post, so that you can see that the old adage is true; “you’re only as sick as your secrets.”, that even I, who tried to be an open book was failing and I really didn’t even know that it had taken over SO much of my life until I did the event that I did this weekend in Denver Colorado.

It opened my eyes to how much keeping it had wormed it’s way into not only my private life, but was starting to come into my professional life as well. It was beginning to effect my connection to Divine, to Spirit and to the Animals.

It was keeping me isolated, frustrated and incredibly sad, and I thought I was using it to keep my professional life safe and secure when in reality it was doing the exact opposite.

I felt alone, ashamed, scared, vulnerable, ugly, incredibly sad & lost because I didn’t know anyone I could turn to for guidance, see, that’s what secrets do, they whisper to you things like: “you can’t tell anyone about this, it’ll ruin your reputation.” or “you have to keep your private life 100% private!” and “no one’s ever going to look at you the same way again and everything you’ve built up to this point will be destroyed!” things like that, which only makes it worse because you don’t feel safe, you lose your trust (both in Divine and in people) and it makes you put on a mask (something I vowed I would never wear again after going into AA).

I wasn’t being who I was being called to be and I didn’t know HOW to answer that call, it was like I was being pulled towards a wall by a string tied to my heart but when I got to the wall there was no door so I just kept bumping up against this wall, unable to find the way to get through it.

I was hiding in broad daylight.


So you see, I really do know what it’s like to have something that keeps you from being you, that even though I consider myself an enlightened, very connected person that I too, can get lost sometimes.

I want this post to encourage people to let out those secrets that are eating their way through you lives, because you make THINK they’re not effecting other parts of your life, but I promise you they are, and you’ll only know how much when you begin to reveal them. Secrets thriven in the dark, it’s where they live, and breath and grow and fester, and when we bring our secrets into the light, they begin to shrivel and die, when we share those secrets is when we are truly free to be who we are, living our lives fully, being who we be, happily and in joy and true inner peace. When we find the lighted doorway of truth and step through it? That’s when we are living as Divine intend, joy-FULLY.

My doorway came in a form of an event in Denver CO, an event that I shared with over 500 people; a scary thing indeed because remember, up until that point I had only shared my secret (and only lightly skimmed it at that) with ONE other person.

But I was about to find out how powerful the light of truth and the support of a community of like minded people could be. And how their energy held me up as I spoke my secret out loud for the first time.

Continued in my post…… It Ended with a Truth


It Ended With The Truth

Please read It Started with a Secret, to know the beginning of my story.

There is a very good chance that this post will make some of my existing clientele uncomfortable, so much so that I may lose some of you as clients. Let me first say that “that’s ok”, I always say that a person needs to do what feels right for them, not for any other reason.

There may be some of my clients who may feel that I’m not the Coryelle that they’ve come to know, that who I am now is too radical, too raw or simply too much for them to process right now; and again I say “that’s ok”.

So this is your turning away point; the chance to walk away right now, because from here on out I will be talking about things like sensuality, sexuality and other heavier topics and how delving into them has transformed my life, both past, present and future.

If reading about such things makes you uncomfortable, then I’m giving you a chance now to stop reading, to walk away (unfriend or unfollow me on FB or my blog if you need to) so that you can remember me in a light that serves you without any judgements from me.

Because after you read this you won’t ever see me as the same Coryelle that you knew. I know after the weekend I just had, that I certainly don’t.

For those who want to board my train of self-discovery, welcome aboard! Find your seat, STRAP in (or strap on if that’s your thing šŸ˜‰ ), hold on because it’s going to be one hell of a fucking wild ride!

So, this is my secret, Iā€™m a VERY Kinky/Sexual/Sensual person.

But I didn’t know how much until I began to get ready to go to a life changing event that my a very good friend, told me about. She had been asking me to go before for a while and every time I would immediately say “No” because I wasn’t ready for my two worlds; the private and professional ones to even come CLOSE to meeting.

But this time, this time when she asked I said “YES!” because that morning of the day she asked me I made a promise to the Universe to say “Yes!” to my life, and the Universe being what she/he is, told me to put my promise to the test.

Also because living with the secret of being a Sexual being became so painful for me to hold in anymore. I had hit the glass ceiling of what I could explore on my own, and although in the beginning it felt freeing and great and safe to do it alone, it quickly became confining, frustratingly limited and even shameful. I needed help to explore who I was as a sexual being in a safe, supported and loving environment, I needed to bring this out into the open and this event was it.

Still with me or do you need a moment? Take all the time you need, maybe stop for a bit and come back to this when you feel like it’s a better time, as I said at that start of this, my secret, just like many other things in my life aren’t small, it’s go big or go home for this girl, even with secrets apparently. šŸ™‚

Before going on any further I should talk about the Blueprints, the blueprints are the backbone of this work that I did for myself. There are 5 of them and they are Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky & Shapeshifter.

The first real epiphany about who I was came when found out which Blueprint I primarily was, this gave me the chance to put all the things I was feeling a name and it was Kinky.

You may want to giggle at that and that’s ok, but when I saw the results come up on the screen, I felt happy, I felt SEEN!

You see, I never had a word for it, I didn’t really know what it was that I wanted in my sexual life, I just knew what I was getting was fine but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe what I needed. It’s like when you have someone’s name or a word on the tip of your tongue and it drives you mad to try to find it, you know that it’s right there, but you can’t reach it. That was what it was for me only on a much more intense bodily level.

Do you get it now? How challenging it was to know that you are something but to have no idea what that something was? I was trying to find the words almost my entire life, and it was always out of reach, until I found out who I was as a sexual being by taking the quiz.

The results became the key to the cage I was locked inside.

And so, the journey began, I went to the conference and at one point shared out loud to a group of over 500 people who I was and how lonely, scared, frustrated and sad I was, I shared with them how I felt free for the first time and I thanked Jaiya and Ian and the rest of the P2P crew and the people who attended for their loving energy that supported me. Even if they didn’t know me, they loved me, and I thanked them all for being my tribe.

I should say that your Blueprints can change, I began this journey as 33% kinky and my shapeshifter was 8%, but by the end of the event my shapeshifter had emerged and she left the event being 28% (a 20% increase, once again I show that I don’t do things little šŸ˜‰ ).

I’m now a Shapeshifter/Kinky/Sexual/Energetic

Also know that that the percentages changed many time since I first took it. AS YOU change your percentages might changes and your Blueprints are fed, seen heard and acknowledged and it’s fun to see them grow and expand as you do.

I left the conference the happiest, and the more peaceful that I’ve ever felt in my ENTIRE life. I now know who I am on a primal level, it answers SO many questions about what I need and needed in my past sexual life. I used to think I just wasn’t a sexual person, that it was my fault that I couldn’t feel pleasure the way I wanted to, If I only could shut off my mind, or if I could only relax more, or if I did this or did that. I twisted myself into whatever the man I was with wanted, I did everything I could to please HIM because I thought in pleasing them that I would find pleasure for myself. And I did, but not nearly enough. Now I see clearly why and what I need for the future.

It not only explains who I am sexually but also privately and professionally, a shapeshifter doesn’t do things half measure, they driven and they dive in big, they want to live life in a big way, they want to bring things to this world in a way no one has before!

Sound like anyone you know? If it does, you’re not alone.

It brings my worlds together in ways I didn’t know was even possible.

Iā€™m a being who enjoys the connections of the Sensual, the Sexual, the Energetic and the yes, the Kinky and most important? I no longer making apologies for being who I am.

I came into this saying to myself “all I want is to bring light to what’s come to be the dark corners of my life, I want to bring all of who I am into that light so that can be unafraid to allow the world to see all of Coryelle. I don’t want to be ashamed and scared anymore” A man who interviewed me for a testimonial for the P2P event was a huge confirmation for me. After I had walked away he came to find me and he said “Your light shone through every single word you spoke back there, it was incredibly beautiful to watch you.”

I began to cry. He has just given me the gift of confirmation that what I wanted had come to pass, I let the light shine into the dark corners of me, I was completely and totally free!

So that’s it, this is who I am and stating it aloud makes me incredibly happy and relieved, maybe my truth will help someone else come out of the Kinky Closet (or one of the other blueprints). I hope that it does, but if it doesn’t I still needed to speak my truth so I could finally be free.

xoxo, Coryelle

I work with individuals and couples to help them find their passion, using their natural abilities of inner knowing and divine connection. 

Contact me to discover how to begin your way to Passion and Pleasure both with yourself and with others.